Your Circle
“I do not wish to treat friends daintily but with the roughest courage. When they are real they are not glass threads or frost-work but the solidest thing we know” Ralph Waldo Emerson
This past weekend, my dearest friend came to town for a much needed visit. I had the joy of showing off this little slice of Michigan wonder, that I have called home for over a year and a half now!
As with all of my amazing friends, he brought with him the urgency to deep clean my house, (we all know that is the only time the house gets a deep clean – when guests come to visit!) and the reminder of just how much I treasure my circle.
One of the five components of emotional intelligence is the ability to CREATE and MAINTAIN healthy relationships.
I think of those closest to me and am overwhelmed with love and relief at all that we have overcome together. The arguments, the physical distance, the emotional space, the reconciliations; all of these difficult experiences have brought these dear friends of mine closer to me, my heart and my family!
We learned how to communicate through our differences. We learned that even friends need to know to fight fairly. We learned how to come back to the conversation with an open mind and heart because we understood the value of friendship.
And all of these lessons have given me a handful of friendships that are beautifully rich and will undoubtedly last a lifetime.
They have also taught me that friendships are only as deep as the effort put in.
When I first moved to this lovely slice of Michigan, I was worried about my children and how they might acclimate. While being the new “kid” in class is never easy, they have done so well all on their own! No mom-forced playdates, or mom-initiated gatherings. On their own strength and confidence, they have found meaningful friendships, support and enthusiasm as they continue to grow into the wonderful adults they are going to become.
It is their mom (aka me) they are worried about!
Encouraging me to go out, make friends, find a new tribe is so much easier said than done; and it has not been done well for me. I am learning that I have to lean into the uncomfortable! I have to initiate connections, drop into conversations, ask for coffee dates, ask to be invited along or even the very basics of asking for friendship; and I have faith someone will take me under their wing!
It has not been easy, but I know in the end it will be worth it! We are meant for connection, it is a basic human need. It may feel as though there are times we can survive without people in our lives, and past hurt and trauma may support that notion; nevertheless, in the end, our lives may never feel completely fulfilled if we do not actively work towards that important step of emotional intelligence – meaningful friendships!
If you are like me and need some support creating or maintaining friendships, please reach out! I’d love to help!
If you struggle with how to communicate in these friendships, coworking spaces or any relationship please join me as I speak about Effective Communication, 8:00am on Tuesday May 2nd, 2023 at Weber’s Restaurant.
Joni Woods, ACC
Relationship and Communication Coach
Journey Coaching
734-436-6200
Journeylifecoaching.life
Joniwoods.com
“Creating the future You want!”
