I try to give an abundance of grace in my conversations with clients. I believe we do not do that enough. We all need a little bit of grace! We need more people in this world who are not going to jump to conclusions- but rather work to fully and completely understand the situation they are facing!
And each situation always starts with feelings!
Here is where the grace part comes in – we need to realize that HOW feelings show up is something we cannot control. I wish that I could – for each person who struggles with fear, hurt, anxiety, guilt, shame, loneliness, pride, jealousy or even love – I wish I could tell you that WHEN those feelings show up are within your control. You can put up safe guards, process the past, you can do the work- and those unexpected feelings may STILL show up when you least expect them to.
It’s what you do with those feelings that can transform your situations, connections, relationships, character, personal integrity, etc.
I tell my clients – sit with your feelings. Please just sit with your feelings! (check out a past article about how to do it). Sitting with your feelings helps you understand where they are coming from. And if need be, put distance between what is triggering your feelings and the plan on how you ultimately want to CONTROL them.
Because (and this is KEY) unchecked feelings can turn into unfiltered thoughts. And those unfiltered thoughts can turn into careless actions. And we all know that careless actions almost always turn into negative results.
I am in the midst of my own personal journey of “checking my feelings”. Keeping them reigned in through open and honest conversation with a trusted confidant – that includes a lot of grace for myself and non judgmental accountability. Accountability is not an enjoyable part of any conversation. It can be scary if you are reaching out to a friend or loved one – because we all want to be good and honorable and without fault. However, finding the right accountability partner makes all the difference in the world. Someone who listens without judgment and helps you check your feelings with grace, understanding and a deep appreciation for our authenticity!
Seeing that it is our authenticity that makes us human, that builds connection, intimacy and trust – being authentic is what I want my clients to strive for! An authentic and genuine life has so many benefits to not only our relational health but emotional and mental health as well!!
If you need a coach who understands what it means to sit with your feelings – I am that coach!
Please contact me if you find yourself dealing with unexpected feelings – I would be honored and I’d love to help!
Joni Woods, ACC
Relationship and Communication Coach
Journey Coaching
734-436-6200
Journeylifecoaching.life
Joniwoods.com
“Creating the future You want!”
