I’ve been working the business side of my journey while letting life settle into really healthy experiences on the intimate side.
How does one do that? By having really great conversations!
I feel as though I cannot emphasize enough the importance of coming to the table and talking shit out! Everytime I get the opportunity to have healthy conversations, I feel all of my relationships elevate!
To be fair, I have had my fair share of conversational fuck ups, but the grace that has been given to me as we come back to the table and really talk about what I was feeling has been essential to all of my relationship and personal growth.
Because what I have discovered is that even I need to do a better job of not listening to the stories I tell myself!
Sure I work with people all of the time, and could lean into my past experiences as negative forecasting, however I have the belief that for as much as I understand I can overreact, I can misunderstand, I can assign behaviors, I long for grace and understanding so that I can grow as a person. I don’t want to be a prisoner to poor conversational or conflict strategies that stunt my growth or damage my relationships! I need a safe space to process the feelings that are being triggered and the fears or insecurities that find their way to the surface; so I want to do that for others in my life!
To do that, I need to stop believing the stories I tell myself and to start asking more questions. I need to not allow my insecurities to make up stories about how I believe others perceive me, but ask those tough questions that could potentially expose my fears and weaknesses. When we do this, we are asking those around us to create a safe space for us to grow. It’s tricky work, because we sometimes get lost in the idea that their safe space will heal us, when that is NOT the case.
Their safe space is only meant to help us as WE heal Ourselves!
This is where we can get confused about healthy relationships and what effective communication really looks like.
Healthy relationships are the ones that encourage your growth, that challenge your stuck thinking, that do not allow you to settle into hurtful patterns; and they are able to do so when they ask you those self-reflecting questions! Those questions that take you away from the story you’ve told yourself, and into the “beliefs” that brought you into that story.
Example: you did something “bad” and now you have a belief that you ARE bad! And that belief can lead to a story that you start to tell yourself; “other people think that I am bad too” and the story just escalates and suddenly our relationships are disconnected because of the stories we have told ourselves! It’s a vicious cycle.
We need to stop listening to the stories we tell ourselves and start asking the questions that can expose those feelings, fears, insecurities or beliefs that negatively affect us, our choices and our relationships!
Let me help you in your journey!
Much love-
Your coach,
Joni Woods
Relationship and Communication Coach
Journey Coaching
734-436-6200
Journeylifecoaching.life
Joniwoods.com
“Creating the future You want!”
